Small penises have feelings too.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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