Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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