VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
