everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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