Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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