Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
