Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
