does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
