Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
