No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize