Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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