why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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