I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize