Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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