True but thats because hes a fetus.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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