Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
