it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ugly people sure do ruin things
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
