I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
smell my finger.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
