"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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