I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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