Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
