My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
