I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
