Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize