she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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