I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
