I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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