I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
