We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
