dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize