But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
