guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
