Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
