We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
