It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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