I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
