To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
