it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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