and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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