The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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