booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
