I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
