people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
do herpes really smell.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
