I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Panties = found
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