at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
