Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
