There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
