are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize