let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
