The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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