I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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