her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
