I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm going to jail i love you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I forget how to act sober
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
