she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize