Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
