i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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