Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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