so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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