Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
