he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we made out on top of his cat.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Barsexuality is the new black.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize