Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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