Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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